Reason for blogging fall-off

Marie was in the hospital with a dislocated head. (Arguments just aren't what they used to be) It started off fine of course. She said my paws had grease on them. I insisted that it was just my dark complexion. She disagreed and after a few rather adjective filled sentences proceeded to slap my nose causing an unnecessary flow of red liquid to flow down the front of my face. Being a moncho squirrel with a well kept ego I naturally did the first thing that every manly squirrel in my situation would do in order to resolve a disagreement - a quick, swift blow to her upper tailbone followed by an excessive shaking of her head, which in turn led to a week long stay in the hospital.

Me being the kind and considerate squirrel that I am, I generously offered to spend the days with her to help them pass by quicker. During that time we managed to resolve most of our differences and things seem to be heading on the up and up and so far as of last night we have yet to get in any arguments or quabbles of any kind (although I must point out that my paws never did have grease on them in the first place).

Pay Attention People!

Okay, let me break this sign down in as great a detail as I possibly can so that there will be no misinterpretation in the future! Note big squirrel on left and little baby squirrel on right. Got that? Okay, now notice bright yellow sign with the words "Squirrel Xing" on it. This too hard to remember? Okay, now that you've got this down, try to remember this last detail - When you see a sign like this it means that there are - yep, you guessed it - squirrels around! Go figure!
Now, answer me this simple question. Why did my great Uncle Mickey just get run over on one of these crossings this past week? Its because inconsiderate, dinkleheaded humans have no care about the rights of the smaller species in the world! We have the right to cross the street to you know. Show some consideration!

Viewers very divided on what they believe

Yes, it would appear from recent poll results on SE that the viewers of this highly intellectual site are rather diverse in there areas of taste. For experiment and future blog post considerations I am posting an updated poll on the right that I hope will give me (and Marie of course) a better understanding of what you the audience desires of me (er...I mean us).

Latest GBS Campus Gossip

Yes, as well as being a highly intellectual site, this blog doubles as a gossip sheet as well. Have no fear though as I assure you that this type of gossip is Biblically sound - We do not mention peoples names, photos, or Social Security numbers. Instead we dwell on the more discreet news.

For instance, my brother Benny tells me that the President of GBS (who will remain anonymous for the reasons stated above) just issued a statement this week in his caucus meeting and warned his members to be overly careful about the increasing rise in food poison that has been going on in the campus kitchen. Apparently there is a feud that has been going on for quite some time now between the faculty and kitchen staff. The kitchen wants an increase in payroll while the faculty is looking to downsize and possibly "exterminate" some of them. This does not sit well with the kitchen staff of course and so ergo the recent rise in food poison (a.k.a. a kitchen strike). The President vowed revenge on the kitchen crew and has reportedly (According to brother Benny that is) issued a command that has each shift cook run seventy suicides before the start of every shift and has all kitchen members doing a minimum of fifty push ups before every meal (twenty-five extra for every minute that a mean is late). Of course the kitchen crew has now vowed revenge on the GBS faculty and is promising to triple the amount of food poisons until further notice.

So, as a caring squirrel, I would kindly advise you students and future visitors to be rather leery when visiting the dinning hall in the future.

A Campus Squirrels Worst Nightmare

School is back in at GBS! For those of you who are not squirrels (and I'm presuming that this is the majority of you), I can only try to explain what great frustration this poses for me and Marie. Winter break was just becoming a routine and now this - Teachers, students, rude people who like to throw things at squirrels, and more rude people. I'll never forget the time last semester when me and Marie were hiding in the bushes just minding our own business when this rather untimely cup of orange juice rained down on us. It was from that point on that I came to this rather simple conclusion - all humans are quite evil and deserve to be bound, gagged, shot, and thrown into giant river. Oh yes and lest I forget the rather disgusting photo above, this goes double for our cat "friends" as well.

Oh, please don't get me wrong! I do not mean to come across as harsh or unloving; I am just what we squirrels call a practicalist.

It was the week after Christmas...

and all was peace, quiet, and beautiful. Ah, the old family members. Quite handy when it comes to the gift exchange department but most inconvenient when it comes to nieces and nephews. Okay, I get the whole "they're just excited that it's Christmas" line for a couple days. After all, I guess it is the highlight of the year for these little chaps. However, after about the fifth day in a row of "Its time to wake up Uncle Cambrian!" and the seventieth time of "We're going to beat you up Uncle Cambrian!" and the "Sorry we trashed your room Uncle Cambrian" line it tends to get a little old and I think my complaints are more then justified.
NOTE TO SELF: Ask for metal handcuffs and duct tape next Christmas. (Oh, and paintball gun)
Now I know some of you probably think of me as being a heartless tyrant (Marie included) but is it really my fault I got to be this way? I think not.

Peacefully Yours,
Cambrian

P.S. This would be Isaiah and his newest hobby (Maybe one of these days he will be knocked out and never regain consciousness - Hey, its okay to dream)