Thursday, January 10, 2008

Latest GBS Campus Gossip

Yes, as well as being a highly intellectual site, this blog doubles as a gossip sheet as well. Have no fear though as I assure you that this type of gossip is Biblically sound - We do not mention peoples names, photos, or Social Security numbers. Instead we dwell on the more discreet news.

For instance, my brother Benny tells me that the President of GBS (who will remain anonymous for the reasons stated above) just issued a statement this week in his caucus meeting and warned his members to be overly careful about the increasing rise in food poison that has been going on in the campus kitchen. Apparently there is a feud that has been going on for quite some time now between the faculty and kitchen staff. The kitchen wants an increase in payroll while the faculty is looking to downsize and possibly "exterminate" some of them. This does not sit well with the kitchen staff of course and so ergo the recent rise in food poison (a.k.a. a kitchen strike). The President vowed revenge on the kitchen crew and has reportedly (According to brother Benny that is) issued a command that has each shift cook run seventy suicides before the start of every shift and has all kitchen members doing a minimum of fifty push ups before every meal (twenty-five extra for every minute that a mean is late). Of course the kitchen crew has now vowed revenge on the GBS faculty and is promising to triple the amount of food poisons until further notice.

So, as a caring squirrel, I would kindly advise you students and future visitors to be rather leery when visiting the dinning hall in the future.

2 comments:

Joel Byer said...

I just featured you on BBB.

Marie said...

aww that was such a sweet thing to do Joel... it really helps